Today has been a weird day. I had to drive about 45 minutes to the city for a doctor’s appointment. I was in line to sign-in when someone walked up to the counter and asked “Is this geriatrics?” and the receptionist replied “yes.” Talk about a wake-up call! I signed in, submitted my insurance cards to be copied for the 687th time, and took a seat. It was hard not to notice a young man in the waiting room talking very loud on what appeared to be a cell phone. The man was a dead ringer for Coolio except much taller and not cool.
He continued to talk on the cell phone and occasionally he would sing out loud. Directly behind me in the waiting room was a young lady. What she was doing in the geriatric department, I don’t know. Anyway, she took a call on her cell phone and spoke very loudly as well. She was having a disagreement with a potential renter at an apartment complex she manages. Apparently the other person called her office to report that she was not returning his telephone calls in a timely manner. The woman explained that she answers all messages promptly during business hours. She told the caller that she did not appreciate the calls to her office to complain. She then told the caller she would run his credit check tomorrow and let him know if he was approved. I was glad the call was over. It was uncomfortable. As she ended the call, suddenly Coolio became agitated and stood up from his chair. He began shouting “Don’t you be calling my job” over and over again. He then approached each person in the waiting room and stood over them yelling “Don’t you be calling my job” while flashing what appeared to be a gang sign in their face. I knew my turn was coming and tried to prepare myself but it was still very scary and uncomfortable as he yelled at me and made this gesture in my face.
I was closest to the exit so after instructing me not to call his job, Coolio disappeared. I was shocked that no one at the reception desk called security. The man was obviously having some issues. I saw my doctor, made an appointment for my next visit and proceeded out of the geriatric department to the elevator. I stepped inside but before the doors could close Coolio appeared out of nowhere and boarded the elevator and began to sing as the doors closed. I turned sideways to avoid eye contact as he stopped the elevator on every floor singing the floor number out loud. He was holding the cell phone like a boom box. A woman next to me decided to get in the party mode with him and belted out “get down and boogie.” I mouthed the words “don’t encourage him” to her just as she realized her mistake. We finally arrived at the ground floor and got off the elevator. The woman and I were walking together hastily towards the parking garage when a sudden swoop of air separated us. It was Coolio on a bicycle riding off, yelling at the top of his lungs. It was the last time I would see him and that is a good thing.
On my way home I found myself being followed closely by a cop from several miles down the highway to my exit, down the road connecting two highways, into a parking lot, through the lot to a back street, down the back street and into another parking lot. He kept going as I pulled into a parking space at the pharmacy. It was innerving to have him behind me all that time. I kept expecting the flashing lights to come on but they never did. Coolio threatens a room full of geriatrics at the doctor’s office and gets away with it but I get followed home by a cop. What the heck?
So I go into the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions which of course aren’t ready. Do not even get me started on CVS. I am told to come back tomorrow and I leave the store. I pull out of my parking spot to head home and who is ahead of me? A guy on a unicycle! I follow him out of the parking lot, trying to stay far enough behind him so as not to run over him when he falls off the unicycle. Finally he keeps going straight and I take a left out onto the highway and get myself home where things are still strange, but in a good way.