I am not trendy. I am very bad at keeping up with what’s hot and what’s not. For instance:
-I was still patching torn jeans when everyone else was wearing them with just waistbands and pockets.
-By the time I found out about the cupcake craze, it was over.
-I have an iPhone3 with a pay-per-minute plan. I don’t text, which is a good thing, since it isn’t included in my plan.
But, sometimes I catch onto a trend before it is trendy. For example:
-I am not proud of this, but one trend that I caught on early to, is the addition of a barf scene in every movie. I told Michael about it being a new trend, and he said he hadn’t noticed. Well, since that day so many years ago, we have not watched a movie together without a barf scene. I am a retired registered nurse and I still watch movies with my hand in front of my face, knowing it’s coming.
-Another trendy thing I saw coming is the tying of a string around a cookie. Food bloggers do this and it drives me nuts. Right now, there is a picture of two waffles tied together with a ribbon, making the rounds on Pinterest. I can see perhaps the need to tie a stack of cookies together to keep them from falling, but where is one cookie going to go, or two waffles for that matter? We all like to compose our food pictures creatively but…really? Untie the cookies people.
-Recently I have picked up on something else that I think is ready to go trendy at any moment. I am memorializing it here so I can say, “I was doing that before it became trendy.” Farm, country, and homesteading bloggers are taking pictures of their own boots. Yes, you heard it here first. You may even see it here first. These photos are taken from the first person perspective, meaning, the subject of the photo is the one holding the camera. Yes, and I hate to even type the word, like selfies. Hand over mouth again, just in case. I have never taken a selfie and probably never will due to the size of my nose in relation to the length of my arm. It just isn’t happening. But I have decided to get all over this new photography trend, which I have dubbed booties. The definition of a bootie shall be as follows:
1.) Boots are required, no exceptions. Chore boots and galoshes are best but, if you do your farm chores in black patent leather stiletto boots, well God bless you and go ahead.
2.) The picture must be taken by the person wearing the boots.
3.) The picture must be oriented from the head looking down toward the boots. This means that the toes of the boots will be facing away from the torso. Pictures with the boots in the air shall not be considered booties, no matter who took them. You know who you are. Stop it and get in the kitchen and untie those waffles.
4.) If the soles of the both shoes are showing, the picture is disqualified, unless you can prove to me that your arms are that long. A good selfie will be considered proof.
5.) Extra points will be given if one of the feet is turned ever so slightly inward, in a pigeon toe fashion. If it is resting on the toe of the other boot, two points. If the subject appears to be knock-kneed, three extra points will be awarded.
6.) Finally, the picture will be considered bootylicious if, in addition to the boots, it has any two of the following:
c.) other livestock
d.) a rusty bucket
e). an apron
f.) a sunflower
As I got ready to go out and do the morning chores this morning, I was thinking about the bootie trend and how I might use it to take this blog to the next level. BlogHer says my monthly income from ads will be more than the price of a fancy cup of coffee. I say we test that. It’s about to get all trendy up in here.
In the interest of fairness, I did nothing differently this morning than I do any other morning. I woke up early and still wearing the outfit I slept in, put on my boots and head out to do chores. I took my camera to document just how trendy I can be. For the record, I wear stretched out yoga pants and tee shirts to bed, so I wear the same to do chores. Lucky for you it is still cold enough outside for a coat. I realize the cutest bootie pics are of young women, usually wearing jeans tucked into darling chore boots. That is not the case at my house where bootie pics are of old women in torn yoga pants, with dry scaly legs between the hem of the pants and the tops of the boots. I am just keeping it real. Consider it a warning before I actually post a picture.
So let’s go take some bootie pics. It’s trending you know. I’ll ease you into this gently, and suggest you hold your hand over your face as we go. These are my actual chore boots. I wear these everyday, rain or shine. You’ll understand why shortly.
This is not a bootie, because I am not wearing them and taking their picture. It is just for clarification.
Here we go. Here my boots are standing by a tree stump while I hold a feed bucket. Feel free to zoom in on my tan. Ironically, I was paid to do a post for Suave body lotion recently. One would think this would have been the perfect time to use it!
Here are my boots next to a gopher hole.
Here are my boots next to a gopher tunnel.
Here are my boots waiting while I pour feed from a bucket.
Here are my boots next to two emus with their heads crammed in a feed bucket.
Here are my boots next to a big emu poop. If you’re gonna’ feed ‘em, they’re gonna poop.
Here are my boots waiting while a fainting goats eats chicken scratch from a grain scoop.
Here are my boots feeding a mini donkey.
Here s a bootie pic where my feet are straddling a mammoth donkey hoof print. I couldn’t get a picture of my boots and the mammoth donkey because he is afraid of cameras. But, you can really see my tan in this shot.
Here is a picture of my boots in the chicken run with Judge Judy. Disclosure: This photo has been edited for your viewing pleasure. Please don’t ask why.
Here are my boots next to the trailer hitch. Note the gnarly wiring. Please feel free to shout out a comment if you think this looks unsafe.
The chores are just about done. My boots are back at the feed shack sweeping up a bit.
Chores done, it’s a bout to get all artistic now.
Here are my boots standing on a gnarly stump. I actually think I just used the word gnarly appropriately.
Here are my boots next to our old wagon.
Here they are next to some very artsy rustic yard art and weeds.
Here are my boots next to… yes, a rusty bucket! Extra points!
Here are my boots next to a faux chicken. No need for editing here. I may swap them all out for faux chickens. I could put them in cute poses all over the place and never step in chicken poop. That would cut way back on egg production but it might just be the next big trend!
Lastly, because I didn’t want to appear as if I am a total country bumpkin, I changed into my cute chore boots, a gift Michael’s daughter Sarah. I don’t like to wear these, lest they get soiled, so they are used mostly as porch art. They need dusting.
With my adorable chicken chore boots, yellow rain coat, and a basket of eggs, I submit my official bootie pic.
Who’s trendy now? Huh?
If you have a bootie pic that meets our strict guidelines, please feel free to submit it via email and we’ll post it! What the heck, get out there and take one. It’s trendy you know. These things don’t last forever.
Disclaimer: This post was written in jest, but if the shoe fits, wear it. Fly your trendy flag high!